Between Here and Where We Started
by Cherry
Summary: The years bring some choices back around to you, and all you can do is make them again and again.


The years bring some choices back around to you, and all you can do is make them again and again.  
  
I own... Nothing! This piece is a bit more movie-influenced, due to the fact that certain characters have larger roles there. As well, This is something that managed to force its way out of my writer's block, so I'm not exactly sure how great it is. ::Pause:: Y'Know, my New Year's resolution was to stop apologizing in my notes at the beginning of every story, so I'm just going to stop there. Many thanks go to Drea and Indiana_J, who were wonderful and beta'd. Feedback would be much appreciated, due to, well, a) Sudden lack of writer's block and b) A final fried brain. Archiving is, as always, want+ask=take, and my site. ( http://cherryice.topcities.com ) There should be a copy up there by the end of the night.   
  
Any how...  
  
*  
  
They say the road leads on and on.   
  
And as the ground sweeps past your feet, you never know where it will take you.  
  
We've travelled this road, all roads, a thousand times over, and I know that one thing is for certain. When you hold true your course, the earth leads you back to where you've started.  
  
This isn't of your doing, nor of mine. The fates lead us where they may, and all we can do is our best.  
  
This thing, you do for me.  
  
No, I will *not* cheapen it by saying that it is for me. You would have gone anyways, I believe that. This is an adventure that will be sung of for decades, and you would not miss out on that. You would not sit while danger threatened your people. You would not refuse to go where help was needed.  
  
You would not have taken the ring yourself, even if you believed that they would have allowed it. I hear that in the winds. You would have taken anything else, but not this.  
  
I wish I was there with you. With him. My father was perhaps wise to not allow me to the Council. He knows that I would have stood beside you, and he, unto the end, as much as I know that he would not be able to allow it.  
  
We cannot send a princess into battle, into danger. But we can send a prince, and we can send a king, and we can send those who are no more than children.  
  
We've grown up with the knowledge that we will probably never rule. It has been that way since our birth. Prince or princess, for us, merely describes an accident of birth. We live so long that points of succession are all but moot.  
  
In the greater scheme of things, it would not hurt them to loose me. I do not know if that wounds my pride.  
  
We were once so proud, you and I. And, perhaps, that was our greatest undoing. It drew us together and it pushed us apart.  
  
Do you remember, swimming in the waters of the Gedeaile, when you first told me you loved me? You took my hand and shouted it out for all to hear, because you would not do that which you could not show to the world with pride.  
  
Do you remember, at my father's ball, when I kissed you in the apple orchards? The trees were in bloom, and there were petals singing through the air.  
  
We never told anyone, did we? We never had to. Somehow, they always knew. Were we as in love as I once thought we were? We must have glowed. It must have shone in our eyes.  
  
They did nothing to discourage it, your people or mine. Did they know where it would end, or did they merely believe that it wasn't as deep as it was?  
  
Our people. Was that where it started to fall apart? You could not be without yours, and I could not abandon mine. Maybe, if I had realized then as I do now that to leave our people, though it would hurt, would not be their end, would not be the ultimate betrayal.  
  
There was something in what I was when I was with you. Do I flatter myself if I think it was the same for you? We complemented each other, made each other shine.  
  
Was it merely the fact that neither of us could stand to be our best _only_ with another person? We both needed to be able to be that much by ourselves. We could not be dependent on each other, no matter how hard we loved. But we've both changed. We may stand here again, but our paths have altered us, and the winds of time have worn us into different shapes.  
  
Are we better for each other now, Legolas? Are we better for ourselves?  
  
We've both settled, lost some of that restlessness. We've both lost some of our idealism, some of that wonder.  
  
Do you remember when we used to run through the glades, and I would always catch you? You could outshoot me any day, though the margin grew smaller through the years, but I could always catch you.  
  
Of course you do. Of course you remember.  
  
Neither of us could stand always'. It was pride again. To lose is one thing. To always loose is another. It seems so silly, so petty, when I look back on it now.  
  
Did we really let it come between us, something like that?  
  
There was one day I loved even more than the others, I think. We were walking in the woods, though yours or mine I cannot remember. Does it matter at this point, where we were as long as we were together?   
  
There was dew in the grass, and in our hair, for we'd been out on a hunting expedition that had split up early on, and had slept beneath a tree that night. We stopped to sight some tracks, and as we crouched there, I thought that you smelled like snow and honey, and I wondered what I smelled like to you. You told me that to you, I was rain and new leaves. I hadn't spoken aloud, and neither did you, I think. We were at peace. We were one. And, for then, it was good.  
  
Did that drive the wedge between us? That we had become so close that even our thoughts had become intertwined?  
  
I think I was afraid. I know I was afraid. And I think that maybe, just maybe, pride wouldn't let me be afraid.   
  
If we'd been afraid together...  
  
It's gone, and it's forever. This is over, and it will always be. We can't change the past, and we can't know the future, but no matter where I've gone, you've always been with me. When rain fell on the budding leaves, could you feel me? Could you see me in your mind? When I hurt, could you feel it as I felt the arrow as it pierced your shoulder?  
  
This quest, this road, you do not do it for me. You travel of your own will and your own motives. I'm with you, through this. Can you feel me, now? Since you departed, even in the days before the council, I could feel our bond strengthening, beyond my will or yours. You travel with my wish, my hope, my ward.  
  
You guard for Aragorn through this, you watch for him. And that you do for me.  
  
I love him, Legolas, I do. I would give my immortality up for him.  
  
But I do not know if I can give up you.


End file.
